Review Roundup - Christmas 2014

KISS KISS BANG BANG


So to kick things off this holiday season, where better to start than with some Shane Black. The man has a fetish for this time of year for some reason no matter how tenuous the link to the actual plot. So for whatever reason I don't have a copy of Lethal Weapon to hand, so this is good enough. It remains the kind of movie where you sit and think ... wow this is still really funny and sharp. Val Kilmer never gets material this good. And Robert Downey Jr. looks so weird with a clean shave. It's a great double act.

Film Rating: 4/5

Christmas Rating:
Shane Black (2/5)
Festive Moment:
Perry's secret weapon


DIE HARD... 2

 

So here's the thing, I already watched Die Hard a few weeks ago. It remains an 80s classic with plenty of shootouts and fights, some nice pyrotechnics and of course Alan Rickman. But now December is here this will have to do. It's got...snow I guess. This still takes place on the right dates, but the sequel remains a guilty pleasure because of the awkward acting, stupid dialogue and endlessly gratuitous violence and cursing. At one point someone in the airport control room confuses ground level and sea level and nobody notices, that's just the kind of quality writing we're talking here. But it does have that ejector seat moment.

Movie Rating: 2/5
(Add one if you're amused at death by turbine)
Christmas Rating: Renny Harlin (1/5)
Festive Moment: Icicle in the eye

BATMAN RETURNS





Okay here we really start to get in the swing of things. Christopher Walken, PVC outfits, gross Stan Winston effects and sexual innuendo. Christmas has arrived... well depending on the type of holiday you have planned I suppose. While I'm not the biggest fan of Tim Burton's outings in Gotham City, they are still plenty of fun for the most part. This one has endless amounts of scenery chewing and weird creepy stuff, while Bats himself has to contend with numerous baddies dividing up screen time, I figure it's a fair split.

Movie Rating 3/5

Christmas Rating:
Danny Elfman (2/5)
Festive Moment: Mistletoe can be deadly  


GREMLINS


Moving onto something just as gross but a little more festive, Gremlins is all about keeping the tone right. It manages to balance the creepy elements of the first half where it feels almost like a b-horror picture, and the bonkers moments later on with flash macks and Snow White. Plus you know, chainsaws, car accidents and tales of dead Santa, just the kind of thing to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.It's also one of those films you should never watch on TV as they always chopped things like the more gruesome moments at the end so that it can be broadcast at dinner time.

Movie Rating: 4/5
Christmas Rating: Amblin (3/5)
Festive Moment: Mrs Deagle's just desserts

(PART 2)