Synth-Cinema's Top 400 Movies...Ever!

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It's never been something I looked forward to compiling, but of course something made it inevitable. That ultimate, be all and end all, best ever, of all time list. The kind where everything is boiled down into a silly page of numbers on a table that in many ways could be swapped around with few differences. Something so grossly subjective that it's almost a ridiculous idea to even contemplate. It's no easy task to compile such a thing, and the nature of it all means that things are constantly moving up and down and mixing the different genres of the best is a nightmare to consider.

The resulting count down is never going to be wholly satisfying. The thing as a whole was something I started to regret and certain titles end up getting the axe while others move up and down, there's a constant internal struggle. It's hard to look at it rationally, after all these are all going to be great movies. That's the whole point. What exactly places them in the top 50 instead of the top 100? How are all time greats any different from all time classics? It's constantly mutating and the lines are always blurring.

Truly dramatic changes are rare but sometimes new additions are discovered perhaps a few times a year as my interest in seeing new things is sated. However there is a top ten or twenty titles are that are unlikely to change without some dramatic last minute arrivals. Many favourites are forever cemented in the annals of my personal preferences after decades of repeated viewing. 

But here it is, drum roll please. As it goes along you will find I have added comments on a few choice entries where I thought it might be appropriate, and there are links to past articles if they exist and if I remember to add them. In the end it all leads into a write up of the finalists and of course the best movie ever made...

On the way to the top there will be a lot of classic epics, '80s science fiction and fantasy kitsch, horror, action, animation and martial arts. This eclectic mix of random stuff and nonsense is often perplexing but in a way that's the idea. It kind of sums up what I like, and if there was ever a broad picture to be painted I hope this it it. Hopefully a few entrants are notably different or unexpected. As we go remakes and movies of a similar title will be marked with a year or some kind of indicator. Some entries may even be for multiple films in a series if I feel they are of equal quality and can be grouped together. It might be a cheat but hey it's the way these things go.


Top 400 to 351

Top 350 to 301

Top 300 to 251

Top 250 to 201

Top 200 to 151

Top 150 to 101

Top 100 to 51

Top 50 to 1

Review Roundup - Who cares if it worked or not?

ROBOCOP (2014)

There's been a lot of drama surrounding this one, it's the usual noise you get from the fans of classic films being recycled by the bad Hollywood ideas factory. The 1987 film is still personally unmatched in many ways, so as one of those fans I didn't expect anything from this, especially as Darren Aronosfky had left pre-production. While it is sad that they could have spent the money used creating some interesting robot visual effects on an original project, at the same time the reason they got the kind of budget involved is probably thanks to brand awareness. Corporate decision making in place of actual creativity again. It's down to the writers and the guys behind the camera to utilise that money effectively, and here the short story is they haven't. So taking this for what it is I'm not going to be irritated about the rating or the differences with the original, as the amount of blood isn't what makes a good film. There is in fact no need to draw any comparisons or talk about why this doesn't work as a reinvention of a known property. I don't need to do any of this because it's simply a bad film on many levels all by itself.

Let's start with the big problem - characters. Alex Murphy is left dead after getting too close to solving his case. But this isn't the opening of the movie so we don't focus on him. Instead there's an odd Middle East sequence with a lot of special effects. It vaguely alludes to American foreign policy but like the rest of the film never tries to be satirical or offer real subtext for the story as a whole, which is odd considering the setting. Back in Detroit, there are scenes with Murphy working undercover that feel like a different film. Straight off there's something wrong with all of this, and it never improves - besides the shift in tone a lot of it is how wooden the guy is. Scenes are random, characters are introduced here and there, and no real arc is ever created for the hero. There's no real theme considering this is a science fiction story. It has no commentary, it has nothing to say.

There are hints of real ideas every so often but they are never explored. Without going into the whole thing about using a human being as a product or running a business for shady military deals, it's just a dull thriller. The likes of Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton phone it in throughout so even the supporting cast are flat and lifeless. There are never any engaging elements introduced considering how easy it would be to add some ideas about man versus machine or the negative aspects of surveillance and technology. On top of this there's a flimsy plot thread about Murphy's wife and child but it has no real purpose and as an emotional hook it never feels realistic. I found it surprising that with all the technology involved they didn't try and build a prosthetic body that looked human to allow domestic integration, especially when it's shown they are making replacement arms for people. Can someone live like this? Are we being dehumanised by technology? Should I care? All these things pile up during the story and nothing gets a satisfying pay off.

There are a few different set pieces involving robots and underworld goons - but none are designed to include anything memorable or use Robocop's super fast cybernetic body in an interesting way. They're just shootouts in interchangeable locations. Even as a throwaway action movie for some cheap thrills it never works when it's so unimaginative. It doesn't help that the choice of music is so strange in a lot of sequences. An early test of Murphy's skills has a really distracting pop song played over it, I have to assume for laughs - and even the scenes of corporate suits scheming have some strange rom-com type music in the background. The 1987 movie's theme get's used in the opening title but is never brought back later as a device to introduce the character or as cue for the heroic moments. The soundtrack like everything else left me scratching my head. This is without even getting to the problems in the writing by people who add plot devices early on but then drop them or bend the rules for the convenience of ending a scene. This is just another forgettable action movie, a sci-fi plot without depth and an all round tedious experience.

1/5

BONUS REVIEW
RUSH (2013)

Ron Howard's Formula One drama is a likeable story of two rival drivers who clash egos during their battle to become Grand Prix champions in the 1970s. The characters are a little cartoon like at times, with James Hunt as the all drinking all libido Brit and Niki Lauder the unlikable by-the-book Austrian, but the whole thing is always entertaining. The race commentary can be very distracting at times as they seem to have dumbed it down for general audiences but I can't say too much knowing zero about the sport or the real life events it's based on - I was surprised by how well the casting works seeing the real footage included. For me this also added a lot of tension during the race sequences which are gripping and at times horrifying as the realities of traveling at such speed in a "bomb on wheels" becomes apparent. The digital over saturated look detracts from the period setting, but there are enough big hairdos and loud shirts to make up for it. In the end it's good fun if a little melodramatic, with a few edge of seat moments along the way.

3/5

Review Roundup - Survival Tactics

CATCHING FIRE (2013)

The second of what has now become a trilogy in four parts, Katniss Everdeen is back for another round of what is ultimately a bland and very derivative feeling teen dystopia thriller. By now everyone gets the idea, this is a mix of regurgitated ideas that have been done before in the likes of Battle Royale, Lord of the Flies, Nineteen Eighty-Four and The Running Man. But it's not entirely hideous despite some problems that really should have been ironed out coming back for a second go. There are a few new flaws and merits which contribute to whether this story comes out fighting or just trips itself over on more jungle deathtraps. 

[Daft Punk joke here]

Now while it's true that the whole thing is very po-faced and lacking a general sort of charisma, it isn't a totally boring setup, as the victors from the previous film are paraded in front of the masses to subdue the revolutionary stirrings and in return enjoy their winnings. Unfortunately they don't do a good enough job and end up being forced back into the arena as part of the scheme being cooked up by those in power to destroy the hope of the people. The problem is the running time needs to do all of this and then repeat all of the first story's training and battle chapters, and it takes way too long getting there. Despite some interesting moments it drags a lot during the first act and the action beats during the later parts don't quite manage to pull things together, even if the set pieces are fun (Killer fog! Killer apes! Killer whirlpool!). By the end the chase sequences just add a lack of clarity of who is doing what and why as the final reveal gets rushed in for a sequel bait cliff hanger.

It's a definite shot in the arm when they finally get to the advertised deathmatch though, especially when some characters that feel alive come into the plot; chiefly the angry Johanna and the seedy Finnick. They don't have a of depth but at least they're memorable, maybe they'd have been better cast as the leads. Most of the others are faceless cannon fodder or gimmicks like the pair with teeth filed to a point - they don't get enough screen time to make a real impact. It's just a shame the central characters are so dull, particularly the romantic interests which come across as being forced when both guys are so flat and wooden. Katniss herself gets some PTSD drama and plenty of frowning and/or shouting to do but it's not the most engaging stuff. The best roles of the President and the Games Maker are really underused, their plotting behind the scenes is so much more interesting than the tedious love triangle and even some of the survival sequences. Even some of the smaller roles in the Capital are good; they should have a real life show hosted by Stanley Tucci and his horrifying teeth. If only these were the main characters, maybe a film about excessive partying and scheming villains would be more fun. 

3/5

BONUS REVIEW
DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (2013)

Ron Woodroof (Matthew McConaughey) gives the finger to doctors saying he's got 30 days to live after being diagnosed with HIV. In fact he gives the finger to a lot of people, but mostly the FDA. After a lot of drinking, substance abuse and praying to God in strip clubs, he slowly learns that he doesn't have to be such a jerk all of the time and builds some real relationships as a result of starting a buyers club - where the sick can pay for a membership to slide around the legal problems of directly purchasing unapproved medical supplies. It's an engaging look at a man realising he's going to lose it all even before getting evicted and ostracized, as well as a touching if mildly clichéd portrait of someone coming to terms with being on the edge and having to fight for something that has a meaning in life. 

There are great supporting characters too with Jared Leto's Rayon providing a foil to his negative attitudes and Jennifer Garner as a more functional but effective role as the doctor providing an outlet for Ron's feelings and a way for us to see the workings of the hospital drugs program he's battling against. They are both composites put together for the screenplay from real life accounts but it doesn't diminish the fact this is a strong character piece.

4/5

Review Roundup - Spy Games

 JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT (2014)

While it's a current trend to reboot and remake every salable brand the Hollywood machine can think of, dusting off Tom Clancy's espionage series is a less obvious choice. Clearly aiming for the younger audience, here the character from The Hunt for Red October is swapped out for a younger model, with Chris Pine from the newest Star Trek films taking over as a fresh faced version of Jack Ryan. The casting is not the only obvious tactic they have employed to draw in viewers - this has the distinct feeling of the still influential Jason Bourne series, right down to the poster art. One scene is even a direct lift from the opening to Casino Royale, a distracting moment for anyone that remembers Daniel Craig's first kill. But does this offer anything noteworthy on it's own merit? And more importantly does it manage to put together some decent spy game material when the central character is not an action hero?

Pine himself does a decent job with the material, and has some good moments of chemistry with both Keira Knightly as his fiancé and Kenneth Branagh; who doubles as the villain and the director. An evil Russian tycoon may be trite, but it's not overdone. The real character moments are where the film shows it's strengths; and there are a few good exchanges of dialogue be it between the central couple or those typically pointed conversations movie heroes and villains have together. The problem is that the target audience probably isn't here for drawn out discussions on classic literature - so ultimately you have to include all the standard ticking clock clichés and chase sequences. Unfortunately there are a couple of issues with the story which mean including them isn't that simple - Jack Ryan is repeatedly stated as being an analyst, not a killer (despite some time in the Marines, which he never finishes) and the fact that this is another of those fashionable stories about contemporary plot devices; in this case financial terrorism. Yes it's nice to see him out of his element when an assassin strikes, but nobody is going to be gripped by lengthy scenes of him typing, watching computer screens, or doing data searches. Casino Royale was about stock market manipulation but there wasn't a lengthy scene involving the days trading at the exchange in the finale, it was all muscle. This just seems like a badly balanced compromise.

It's a shame that they had some interesting ideas to work with don't seem able to execute them in a satisfying way. Yes there's a bike chase, a fight in the hotel room and a nasty part involving a lightbulb in someone's mouth... but there's never any real tension building. There might have been a good character piece here if they'd have given more time to those moments; this just isn't the spy movie that Branagh talked about making, even with the scenes of people meeting on park benches or passing envelopes in a darkened cinema. The focus is lost with all these elements - a decision should have been made to do a serious thriller or a full on action movie. It never gets to the visceral thrills of the Bourne series, even if the music is trying to emulate it - this is just uninvolving. 

2/5

BONUS REVIEW
BLUE JASMINE (2013)

Cate Blanchett does a terrific job as the once wealthy title character in this Woody Allen feature, which shows her arrive at a less than inviting sister's home after losing it all. As things progress it's clear that not only has she done some of this to herself and caused big problems for her family along the way, but her financial state may be just one of the problems she is dealing with. Drinking becomes frequent and flashbacks are not only being shown to tell the story but to show her mind wandering into a concerning state of decay. There are echoes of A Streetcar Named Desire with this setup, although the supporting cast have their own subplots which intertwine with Jasmine's own downward spiral. The end results are a bit predictable, but this is a watchable and involving drama - just not the laugh out loud comedy certain poster quotes will have you believe, though you might chuckle awkwardly along the way.

3/5