@synth_cinema: Horror Bites - Halloween Bloodsuckerfest

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Horror Bites - Halloween Bloodsuckerfest

PART TWO: SHLOCK-TOBER


While the first segment of this little marathon focused on just a few of the incarnations of Dracula that have come about over the decades, sequels and spin-offs were always slightly different in tone. Which may be putting it lightly when it comes to Hammer releases in their later years. To be brutally honest, most of their sequels starring Christopher Lee... are varying degrees of bad. Brides of Dracula is best, and doesn't include him, while Prince of Darkness is a mixed bag. Scars of Dracula is the only one I can enjoy for what it is. Which is an oddity amongst the sequels and seems be a stand-alone plot (even if they start it with yet another absurd resurrection). Where do they keep finding the Count's ashes if they blew away with the morning light in 1958?

Lee actually gets some dialogue this time even if it's just in a few early scenes. But it's always good to see him being given more to do. It's been reported that many of the films have no speaking part for D but it's been disputed why. He claims that he refused to read while the film makers say they didn't write anything in the first place. The fake bats are still really awful and there are some comedy moments which are very out of place, but it's still entertaining for the most part in a silly kind of way. Their attempts at adding more violence and sex this time are still really tame which is kind of endearing, which I guess adds to the fun. (3/5)


On the subject of adult material it's strange that that The Vampire Lovers is case of reputation over actual content. Hammer's take on the Carmilla story is strangely uneventful on the whole. It's cult status and the advertising material for it are pretty misleading. In the modern day you can see it all for what it is - a product of it's time from a mainstream studio. A few decapitations are all this includes in the way of real horror and most of the vampire moments are done in vague dream scenes which lack any kind of atmosphere.

All the supposed erotic content is very low key unless the idea of a few shots of naked skin are to be considered adult content. How racy! As for the story itself Ingrid Pitt is fine but the character isn't developed and whether Miss Carnstein is truly evil or just lonely isn't explored with any depth. The weird plot threads that are left hanging (she has a few helpers early on who are never explained) also don't help. Worst of the General played by Peter Cushing is barely in it, what a crime. (3/5)


Luckily he appears as Van Helsing in one of the strangest entries here, Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. The good doctor is in China... for some reason. Something about discovering if local folk tales are true, unfortunately the local academics will have nothing to do with it. Also in town is Dracula... (played by Not Christopher Lee) also for some reason. He's set up shop in the Far East disguised as a priest, while a group of golden masked vampires terrorise the locals for him. Or so it appears.

The problem is that they actually were doing this before he showed up, so their arrangement is less than crystal clear. In fact in a way he's totally superfluous, appearing in the opening and then being dispatched in mere seconds right at the very end. I guess at this stage Van Helsing is just a seasoned pro at all this staking business. But story isn't the focus here - it's all about the undead action. This is a collaboration with the Shaw Brothers studio, and the team up brings plenty of fight scenes to the film. It's all complete nonsense but I guess that this strange set of circumstances could only ever result in a strange movie. (3/5)


The nonsense continues with Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter. He's British military captain who uses a Japanese sword and has a rather German accent, so your guess is as good as mine. He travels the land often taking off his shirt while just occasionally fighting evil. It's a film that has a kind of a kitchen sink approach, as you can see with his sidekick - both a professor and hunchback. After a while it's easier not to question this kind of thing and just go with all the nonsense.

They throw in some unique (and perhaps fabricated) vampire lore, including a life draining species rather than the ones that drink blood. There's also a strange scene where they use frogs buried in the woods to discover if someone is the walking dead. I guess you'd have to call this an adventure story rather than any kind of horror, but it kind of works. Where else are you going to get a finale where the hero smiths a sword and duels with the vampire? Hammer had plans to make this a series but it never panned out, and while I enjoy this you can kind of see why. (3/5)

(Part one) (Part three)