Time to change gears and see what else the 1980s has in store. Coming down from all those eye gags and scenes of oozing madness is tough, so let's take a look at something a little different where comedy is at the forefront and in some cases things are surprisingly tame for the horror genre. Which is perhaps a little odd for this decade. Of course this is often a genre which often merges into the realm of science-fiction B-movies, so you're always going to find a few cases where they focus more on those aspects. But a recurring factor here is dumb laughs, silly dialogue and slimy (but often bloodless) special effects.
Night of the Comet is one of those films which smacks you right in the face with a whole load of lurid period flavour as soon as it starts. The music, the colours and the outfits, it's all eye watering stuff to say the least. The lead characters are two sisters, and the younger one wears a garish cheerleader outfit for a long stretch of the movie. Just check out that hair. Adding to this there's a bright red filter over the camera lens in a lot of the outdoor shots. It takes up almost half the screen at times to give the effect of particles from the titular comet floating in the atmosphere. Thankfully this is more than empty spectacle and it adds to an entertaining story without ever becoming too distracting.
An opening narration explains that the comet causes extinction each time it passes through our solar system, thanks to all that red dust left in its wake. From the artwork and the premise you might expect this to be a zombie movie of some kind. But in reality it's a doomsday story like Day of the Triffids where the protagonists wake up to find a world where most of the people have mysteriously vanished. While at first it's clear that a lot of them have disintegrated watching the cosmic light show (becoming little more than dust themselves) there are others left alive who didn't get at full dose. As a result these roaming bands of survivors may be... less than sane.
There are plenty of post apocalypse clichés here as bands of thugs stalk the local malls and scientists trying to solve the problem through some rather shady methods. Plus there are a lot of neat cityscapes where everything is abandoned that add to the mood. A couple of sequences showing the reality of the comet's side effects are creepy enough and the make-up is great. There's also a great nightmare sequence early on that keeps things feeling unpredictable. But despite an overtly eerie tone in some moments it's ultimately a light hearted movie that's fun to rewatch.
3/5
TerrorVision continues the 1980s the comedy tone (and the fashion nightmare) but takes many aspects to new extremes. At first it looks as though this is set in some kind of near future with a lot of ridiculous sets. Television control gadgets are covered with moving parts, and a family sets up a giant satellite dish called the 'DIY 100' model. Early on somebody talks about eating lizard tails (a renewable food source!) and it often feels like parody of the decade, both in terms of the dress sense and technology. Rooms are decorated with bizarre erotic paintings that poke fun at Patrick Nagel, with pop art nudity in the background of many shots.
This outlandish version of American life permeates everything as the film gets into bizarre subplots about the parents of the household being swingers and the grandfather being a gun hoarding conspiracy nut. This is a house that features both a pleasure room and an armoury. But the title gives away the main storyline. TV is bad for you right? But nobody expects their new receiver to pick up cosmic energy beams, particularly ones that contain mutants designated for waste disposal on other planets. Rather than reducing the monster into harmless energy, an accident causes it to travel through space allowing it to materialise on Earth.
The monster itself is also a cartoon character with a lot of eyes and teeth, huge amounts of dripping goo, and a mouth that never stops moving. Soon enough people are eaten and as usual the youngest child becomes a witness nobody believes. It plays to the expected tropes despite all this madness. The Empire Pictures logo appears before the film starts but this isn't Re-Animator. The monster kills are pretty gross but there's green slime in place of blood. There are some body morphing effects but it's very tame outside the bedroom antics and set decorations. Maybe it was once a family friendly story before Charles Band come on board. The results are a mixed bag but this is still a descent into silliness that is worth discovering.
3/5
Moving on to something that never quite gets to full speed, House (1986 this time) is basically a riff on Poltergeist done with extra comedy. A horror novelist planning to move onto more personal projects decides to write about his Vietnam war experiences. The war has left its mark, but recent events including the disappearance of his son, a divorce, and the death of his Aunt are not helping. He thinks moving into her house will help for some reason, but of course things there are not as they seem. He soon discovers monsters in the closet (and other places) before he starts seeing flying garden tools and moving taxidermy fish. This sounds like standard fare but there is never enough focus on horror or drama.
To make sure we understand that this is a comedy we are soon introduced to a prying neighbour played by George Wendt from Cheers. He gets all the funniest scenes and gives the best performance, particularly in his introduction where he talks about the late Aunt being crazy. The problem is that the haunted house isn't given centre stage and isn't explained enough. Why are there creatures? What did the Aunt discover? How does this tie in with the war memories if they aren't the cause? It's hard to say because unlike Poltergeist the execution is lacking. It jumps between writing sessions and monster hunt scenes, and the atmosphere is very bland for a story about isolation.
There's fun to be had along the way, but it seems like a series of jokes that interrupt the writing stuff. Which as a movie could have worked if it was just about a troubled author. Some moments work and others that fall flat, including the humour. There's a ghoul here, there's an annoying visitor there. The war flashbacks eventually pay off towards the end in the best sequence, but overall this is a very uneven bag of tricks that never feels fleshed out or focused enough to work.
2/5
To end this with something almost as family friendly as the others let's take a quick look a The Monster Squad. Mixing the old school Universal horror villains with the a typical '80s teen adventure, it's got the usual amount of comedy foul language but lacks teeth as a result. One surprising moment sees werewolf meet hand grenade, but elsewhere there's little in terms of sudden violence. But this is a movie that combines Shane Black sarcasm with Stan Winston effects, you've got to give it credit where it's due even if it's never clear who this was made for. Those Goonies fans who were also into James Whale?
It shares writers with House and as a result the storyline is again pretty uneven. There's something about Dracula trying to get an amulet to take over the world, but it will also destroy him if the heroes find it. He enlists other movie monsters like The Wolfman and The Mummy to help... because of course he does. Apparently this magic crystal can shift the balance of good and evil in their favour but in the right hands it will just create an Evil Dead II style portal to take the all bad guys away. The ensemble is a nice idea and it's fun to see Tom Noonan as Frankenstein's monster, but how they all come together to team up and what they want after the crystal is destroyed is all pretty vague.
For some reason the kids end up in possession of Dr. Van Helsing's diary, and they head off to find a translator and someone who can open the portal. It has to split the running time between goofy kids club house bits, domestic drama scenes, and of course the evil doomsday scheme. There are plenty of silly chases and some sillier dialogue so it's not without charm, even it's pretty bizarre to see characters like Dracula using dynamite. His cohorts cause plenty of mayhem along the way, although the Gill-man from Creature from the Black Lagoon is mostly absent. The Count's three brides also make an appearance... but they just wander around in the streets aimlessly. Like the central idea itself this is an oddity, but it's likeable enough as a light hearted adventure.
3/5
(PART ONE)
