Time for a change of pace as we look at a Hammer production that isn't a staple horror release, and a Ray Harryhausen effects movie that isn't really up there with the likes of Jason and Sinbad. A weird middle ground between the classics from either of these two big names, and a film better known these days for the title and the poster art. But there is still some charm and some entertainment value to it all, in a nonsensical tale of prehistoric humans living in the same period as dinosaurs. There's a kind of simplicity to the whole idea, like something dreamt up by a child playing with toys as cavemen are savaged by Pterodactyls and thrown into volcanic pits. It's probably remembered more for Raquel Welch in history's first bikini, but there are a of other amusing inclusions to discuss.
What little narrative there is tells the story of Tumak (John Richardson) who's harsh existence involves hunting and tribal in-fighting. It's a world in which the strongest become the leaders and the elderly are left to suffer when their practical uses have left them. There's a lot of grunting and a lot of squabbling over women and food. The lack of dialogue is probably for the best, but it's still amusing to see an actor like Robert Brown as Akoba grimacing and muttering as divisions appear in his cave dwelling family. Soon enough Tumak falls out of favour and he's cast out and left to wander the desert, which is where things start to become weirder.
For a story about dinosaurs the way the budget has been split between effects shots is a bit puzzling. Clearly they didn't have the money for a full set of stop motion creatures, but the choices early on are still a little odd. More arresting dinosaurs are of course all creating by hand, but why use a real iguana in one scene only to animate a sea turtle in another? At least it's better than just gluing parts to a whole set of animals like the original 1940 version One Million BC. Elsewhere they throw in all kinds of anachronistic menaces, such as a giant spider (clearly filmed while eating a locust) and a different tribe of hominids that are more Morlock than primate. The cannibal hideout features twice, and though it makes little sense Tumak would try and travel through it a second time I would have liked to see them used more as a threat.
His journey of course eventually leads to a much nicer tribe who have created things like spears, fishing and farming, so you'd think things were starting to look up. But the torments continue since this region is terrorised by carnivorous dinosaurs. At least we finally get some really good effects wizardry. After helping this new group survive it turns out that Tumak isn't really a fan of their more developed customs, and after another falling out he's made to leave yet again. The guy just can't catch a break. What exactly this is all trying to say about human culture is unclear, beyond the fact that brutal ways are harsher that everyone getting along and doing a bit of arts and crafts. Like the story itself things are pretty vague, so it's not really explained why Tumak now decides to go all the way back home and why Loana (Raquel Welch) wants to leave the safety of her friends and join him.
I guess the idea was to have the outcast Tumak return to have his revenge and take the throne, but it's not exactly a complex movie. There are more encounters with dinosaurs (who seem to be fighting each other this time around) and the new couple have to traverse the cannibal cave just so the journey can have a bit of extra tension. Again this could have been a shared foe for the two clans, or there could have been some sort of rescue involving both sides and a stronger message about primitive cultures clashing. But it's not that deep, they just have to get back so that Loana and Nupondi (Tumak's old girlfriend before he was kicked out) can have a silly fight for his affection.
There are some moments where it seems as though Loana might have success in sharing her tribe's knowledge, but of course it's cut short so we can have some more giant lizard attacks. Even the possibility of a revolt against Tumak's brother is cut short so we can enjoy a nonsensical climax where the earth cracks open and lots of people fall into boiling lava. There are noticeably more extras in this sequence which make it even more amusing. It's like a story thought up by someone who had no patience and needed to get more ridiculous action into the plot, making it up as they went along. Again there's a certain charm to the way it plays out, but it can be frustrating at the same time because of missed opportunities to make it more interesting.
It's an entertaining piece of pre-historic nonsense, but in some ways you can see why it's remembered as a gag from The Shawshank Redemption rather than a Hammer classic. But it's still much better than the follow up; Prehistoric Women, a story that tries to combine the tribal aesthetic found here with the lost world tone of their 1965 adventure She. The results are awkward instead of fun, and the title is a lie to sell it to an audience expecting more dinosaur related shenanigans. At least 10 Million Years BC does what it says on the tin, and although you don't get much beyond that it's at least a watchable piece of '60s kitsch.
3/5
