Okay here we go... time for some absurd noise. In more ways than one. Of course not many releases in this series, or the Toho line-up as a whole, are particularly sombre. But your mileage may vary here depending on your thoughts about the classic Godzilla franchise and whether you think making light of the title character is a big deal or not. For all those fans who want to debate whether the big guy is a father, a mother, or just an adoptive parent, there will be others who see this purely as a lurid monster comedy. Some get pretty defensive about it all, as if they need to defend Godzilla's stoicism for some reason, but personally I'm of the mindset that this is complete nonsense and should be treated as such.
On a remote island several strange radio signals are reported, first by a plane and then by a UN science team. The base they've created is some kind of weather system control centre which sends up balloons to change the climate. The plot, for what it's worth, involves these scientists attempting to see if deserts and other inhospitable regions can be made fertile. I don't think that's quite how the seasons or the Earth's water levels work, but there's not much point taking any of it seriously. The team soon find that the hot or cold inducing weather equipment is being interfered with by the same strange signals on the island. To make things worse a nosy reporter called Goro (Akira Kubo) is also poking around.
Of course the equipment malfunctions are being caused by local monsters. First it's a kind of giant preying mantis and then it's the arrival of Godzilla. He's also interested in the radio signal which (for some reason) is a distress call from a giant egg from which his son soon hatches. Did another member of his species bury it or did he leave it there earlier? Is he asexual? Has life found a war? Or is this the child of another creature entirely? The answer is... who cares. From the moment the egg hatches it's clear that this isn't to be taken seriously, with the mantis monsters harassing the new born before Godzilla carelessly hits it in the face with his tale.
The creature designs are not great which drains any sense that this is a gritty creature feature. The big G looks particularly awful, like a terrible Cookie Monster mutant (not for the first time) while his son looks like a weird bug-eyed monstrosity. He's super ugly when he hatches and he remains pretty ugly when he starts to grow. But this kind of adds to the tone of levity, particularly when the parenting scenes take place. Godzilla is pretty bad at the whole thing and is often sleeping instead of teaching life lessons. When they do interact the film is at its best as the poor kid is dragged around by the tail and berated for failing to fight or exhale the proper atomic breath.
Elsewhere the film is a fairly typical science fiction story as the team tries to cool the tropical island but instead cause a radioactive heatwave, resulting in even bigger preying mantis monsters. It's obviously a cheaper production and lacks the standard Tokyo destruction, but the outpost sets are charming in a primary coloured B-movie sort of way. There's a flimsy romance between Goro and the only human native Saeko (Beverly Maeda) a marooned girl who was left to fend for herself when her father died some years earlier. At least things get a bit more interesting when cabin fever sets in and fighting between the team breaks out, as does a tropical disease in the later stages of the film.
The amount of monster mayhem is fairly low and there are more small scale fights and rock throwing contests like the previous jungle based film Ebirah. But this is the better film and things pick up when the giant spider Kumonga arrives to attack the science team, before trying to eat the last remaining mantis and of course Godzilla's son. It's not exactly a hair raising tale of suspense, particularly when the survivors are trapped in the third act by spider webs... but can easily swim out of their cave hideout. Professor Kusumi (Tadao Takashima) insists on one last experiment to make it snow, adding a ticking clock, but by this point the monsters are even less of a threat.
But logic be damned this is a movie about vague notions of parenting for monsters, and an even vaguer plan to change the weather and feed the world. With... nuclear balloons and chemical dispersal machines ripe for abuse in the wrong hands. Neither one of these elements can be considered deep or meaningful unless you really want to over analyse all of this, which I'm sure someone has. Ultimately this gets a bad rap for being overtly childish and incredibly silly in appearance, but it's by no means the worst entry in the series. It's loud, dumb, and ugly, and yet just like the central creatures there's something likeable about it all.
3/5
BONUS REVIEW
KING KONG VS GODZILLA (1962)
Time for another poorly designed creature feature, spoiling both the original Godzilla design and the facial features of King Kong. The former would at least get a decent face lift in Mothra vs Godzilla while Kong... well he looks different but just as bad in King Kong Escapes. Still, what a title. They get a lot of the basics right, with time spent on the typical Godzilla destruction and military battles, while a lot of scenes are given to the usual Kong as an island god idea. Why are they fighting, and more importantly how? The differences in scale should be notable. But like the whole parenthood thing it's best not to worry about it. It's all pretty ramshackle but that's part of the fun.
The shoddy nature of the production is extends to the script. Once again this was a production where the monsters changed but the story didn't, and so Frankenstein's monster was swapped for Kong... but the lightning related powers were left in. To discuss every instance of this and how each film is connected would take some time. The actual plot involves a bizarre parody of television marketing, as pharmaceutical company head Mr. Tako (IchirÅ Arishima) decides he needs a monster his company can 'sponsor'. Like a mascot? One that goes on citywide rampages? It's odd, but it's entertaining. Just avoid the US version which is cut down and re-edited.
As for the big attraction itself both of the title creatures get enough to do. Kong battles an octopus and has to be subdued by some kind of local wine, perhaps explaining why he looks so hung over in the Toho's second King Kong movie. Meanwhile Godzilla fights through the same old armoured vehicles and electricity death traps as you'd expect. If only his design and his body language weren't so peculiar. The finale is what you'd expect but Godzilla's clapping hands and excited movements are just weird. Still, this is early days, only the second monster brawl in the series, and the first Godzilla in colour. The next two instalments would nail this formula.
3/5
