@synth_cinema: Horror Bites - Mystery of the Druids

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Horror Bites - Mystery of the Druids

HALLOWEEN SEQUELS (1989 - 1998)

Previously I took a brief look at the first few sequels in this series, with parts two and four respectively. Also known as the instalments that work in their on ways, even if they're not the most gripping stories ever told. Part two in particular was pretty sedated, just like Laurie Strode herself. However whichever camp you're in I'd imagine that those films are the highlights of a quickly diminishing franchise. Which is odd when there are some interesting elements to work with. Family ties in particular would have worked as a foundation. One of the recurring characters is a psychiatrist too, which is a unique idea. However the writers instead decided to focus on magic rocks and psychic visions.

Part five in particular is an odd mess of wasted opportunities. The film makers couldn't even get the mask right this time around, so perhaps expecting them to come up with a decent story hook was expecting too much. The face is all wrong and so is the collar, what happened over in the costume department? Although this is a minor gripe considering what comes next. Previously Michael Myers was shot and dynamited into oblivion, before being dropped down a well. So it's perfectly logical that he comes back after twelve months in a hermit's cabin, just in time for the spooky season. He survived the last explosion and grew new eyeballs last time around, so why the hell not. At this stage anything goes.

However the whole idea of his niece being the next killer in the family line is dropped early on. Instead she's just got her mind linked to him in a fairly useless fashion. Unless you like awkward and unintentional comedy that is. Some of the weirdest moments come along thanks to poor Jamie seeing visions of his next victim. The other odd moments are tied to this thanks to Dr. Loomis and his total lack of professional care. Yes there are plenty of baffling scenes tied to either Jamie's sometimes non-verbal condition or the good doctor's use of the girl as bait. Using them both as the central thread would have been a good idea, as a doctor and a patient, but certainly this isn't the way to do it.

There is at least one good set piece at the Myers house, although why it's now a huge haunted mansion looking set is another mystery. But it's a long time between a great opening credits sequence and this final laundry chute climax. Even seeing an ageing Donald Pleasence yell as he beats the killer with a wooden beam can't make up for a dull and meandering mid-section. Jamie's foster sister Rachel is also wasted instead of being a source of dramatic connecting tissue. She would have made a stronger lead than the dumb teenagers we end up with. Someone thought it was more important to set up a stupid sequel teaser involving a mystery man. A hook which is also wasted in a very stupid fashion, so points for consistency.

And so we reach the ancient runes and incest fiasco that is Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. Yes the mask is better, and yes the actual Autumn flavours are pretty strong. But this has to have some of the worst music and worst editing in the whole series. The latter may be a problem caused by the theatrical cut being tampered with, but the reasons for a lot of this aren't exactly clear. Someone looked at the series, about an escaped hospital patient and a psychiatrist, and thought what they needed to conclude the saga was an evil cult. Sure Loomis was never good at his job, but the writers could have leaned into it and given him a more logical role.

Even bringing back Tommy Jarvis (now played by Paul Rudd) has no real impact. Surely if Loomis is taking this all too far, a more grounded character could be a good contrast. He's had a tough childhood after all, so a new perspective would be interesting. But instead Tommy is just here to be a 'Mark of Thorn' expert and talk about druids and astrology. Which is about as on brand for the series at this stage as the Stone Henge plot from part three. One of the different cuts lean into this ridiculous idea more than the other, but overall it really just depends on whether you want more over the top deaths or not. When the material is this poor it's probably safer to go with the more outlandish version that was released first.

There are some intriguing ideas about the nature of evil and abusive families, but most of them are buried by 'the man in black' storyline which makes the contrived sister reveal in part two seem like a master stroke. The secondary villains like scenery chewing evil dad John Strode and sinister landlady Mrs Blankship are the only really memorable elements. The ones that aren't utterly nonsensical that is. In a story concerned with rewriting the whole mythos it still wastes a lot of time with scenes about abrasive radio disc-jockeys and horny teenagers. Which is before it starts to creep into both the occult and science fiction for no good reason.

Of course true evil never dies. No I'm not talking about Michael Myers, but the people in studio boardrooms who saw dollar signs when Scream was released in 1996. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later is a terrible title. It sounds like a cross over with murder and chemistry, and even takes place in a private school. So the runes are out and the teenagers are back in, as if they ever left. But generally speaking this isn't an awful sequel, even if it's often very dry and uninspired. There's a weird lack of style to the thing, which is probably the only element that part six had going for it. Instead it's all just kind of drab and they've even stopped pretending this isn't California. Still, there are other elements that actually work this time around.

Jamie Lee Curtis is back, even if Danielle Harris has been replaced by Josh Hartnett. Which I guess isn't a big shock when the sequels after part two have been dropped from the continuity. Although Laurie's car crash is still here, just as a witness protection cover up kind of deal. Why is she in hiding if Michael clearly burned to a crisp, and for all she knows is definitely blind? Who can say. Her shooting skills are never brought up, and instead she's just an alcoholic instead of a survival obsessed loner. The character moments during both quiet scenes and the climactic showdown are pretty good, which makes up for some of the other shortcomings in the script.

Why focus on personal problems between mother and son when you can have... horny teenagers. Again. It's now a genre staple of course but they could have done something a bit more creative. Scream wasn't a big hit because it ran through the tropes without any self-awareness after all. On top of the boring style of the film there's a lot of filler in the mid-section. After a great opening that brings back Loomis's old colleague Nurse Chambers (Nancy Stephens) it settles into a bunch of odd character threads. LL Cool J as a security guard who writes erotic fiction? Sure, why not. Laurie's relationships should really be central, but they've got to have some levity too I guess. It's not a deep movie, but it's never entirely stupid either, which is progress.


Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers 1/5
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers 1/5
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later 3/5