PART ONE: THE CHASE IS BETTER THAN THE CATCH
Oh hey guys, it's been a while. I hope all two of my readers are holding up in the cold conditions we've been facing lately. To keep it all together I'm back here typing about dumb horror movies in the dark, after all it's traditional at this time of year. Let's take a look at a few sequels to all time classics and see how much, if any, of the original magic is left. Some are better than you might remember and are worth revisiting. Like an old friend who sheds some new perspective on past events. Others are just perplexing time wasters with nothing to offer, like an old acquaintance you can't seem to avoid. Let's see which of these familiar faces are here to warm us in these long winter nights, and which of them us make is feel like we're at a wake.
A Chinese Ghost Story III is unfortunately a bizarre wasted opportunity. The previous sequel might have been a strange mess at times, but at least it was creative. There were a lot of creature effects and the returning duo of Leslie Cheung and Wu Ma (eventually) got to team up and fight against the powers of evil. The story concluded with a promise that the adventure would continue, but this was a massive lie. What we have now is a step forward in time so they can resurrect the demon from part one. But instead of tying this into the first film in a meaningful way it's just a strange rehash. There are many familiar elements but none of them are done with any imagination.
This time two Buddhist monks played by Tony Leung and Shun Lau find themselves caught in the cursed woods, in which another ghost played by Joey Wong tricks men into being killed by a demon. It ends up being more of an odd remake than any kind of real sequel, for reasons that are never clear. There's another town with men out to catch criminals. There's another swordsman, now played by Jackie Cheung in a different role from last time around. But instead of having magic Diamond Sutra powers and exploding blood techniques there's just a gold statue to ward off evil. Everything feels like a lower budget attempt to recapture what came before, but it falls flat.
There are no giant creatures or journeys into hell, and there aren't even any undead monsters. Instead the finale is a battle with some kind of floating building. Something that requires no animation or personality. You can't just recycle the music cues from before and hope some of it sticks, especially when the Daoist rap is only hinted at. The film also has no chance at recapturing the romantic elements from the first instalment. When the hero is already a monk what is there for him to prove? If his new ally is shown to be a horny anti-hero early on then where's the mystery of his motives? Long sections are devoted to slapstick bedroom antics which get dull fast, which sums all of this up.
2/5
Let's move onto something that has too many ideas and isn't too sure what to do with them. Predator 2 is like many of the sequels to the original - an often overlooked follow up to a perfect movie. How could it be anything else when the first attempt was like lighting in a bottle? Still, there is an entertaining flick to be revisited here. Even if it's one that is often tonally inconsistent and is full of strange elements that are never rounded out properly. It does at least add new things and try and take it in a new direction, although it's debatable if that direction is ever a good idea. But it's a great looking movie that feels like it has a bigger budget, and never has a dull moment.
In some ways it's clearly a riff on the popular Lethal Weapon formula, thanks to the obvious casting of Danny Glover. He faces off against superior officers played by Robert Davi and takes María Conchita Alonso and Bill Paxton along for the ride. It also leans into a RoboCop style near future for some reason, with Paul Verhoeven style news footage sneaking in. Why? It's never clear, and the atmosphere and tone only occasionally veer into that territory. The time jump forward is just an excuse to have a vague dystopia and a lot of gang war scenes. It's often more 2000AD than anything else, but that's a fun vibe. Elsewhere it tries to ape Aliens when Gary Busey shows up as a shady government agent, filling out the quota of genre regulars.
It's of course hard to take any of this seriously, and there are no attempts at making it a real horror movie. The cops could be faced with the prospect of a serious murder case, which eventually gives way to science fiction as the mystery unravels. Instead it's filled with over acting as characters talk about the Voodoo drug lord 'King Willy' and other ridiculous ideas. The amount of cocaine being used, the size of the joints being smoked, and gold plated the interior design, all push this larger than life attitude comedy aspect that's hard not to chuckle about. Certain lines and certain music cues are recycled but elsewhere newer, sillier, ingredients spice things up. Which I will take over the dour nature of Predators and Prey.
4/5
Talking of Predators, this belated two decades later follow up might be better than you remember. But it's also marred by so many callbacks and references that the experience is hard to recall. It's also tonally grey, in terms of visuals and dialogue. There's a lot of talking, but never any proper scenery chewing. At least not until Laurence Fishburne shows up. Why isn't he the lead? That's another frustrating mystery I'm afraid. Instead the results are a mixed bag, with some new parts and a lot of old ones. It's these cut and paste moments (and whole scenes) that start to grate after a while. It's supposed to be set on another planet, but there's nothing alien about the entire thing.
Despite the interesting premise, a group of elite killers abducted to be prey on a hunting reserve, there's so much of the original movie here it's hard to take at times. The entire score feels like it's being reused. Scenes and callbacks are mixed around to appear in a new order, but are never disguised at all. Someone sees a shape moving in the trees, someone sets a log trap, someone uses a huge machine gun. It starts to add up after a while, and the central cast don't have enough charisma combined to match Arnold and pals. Where are the near future vibes and the new gadgets to make this a real third movie? The alien hunters now have drones and mines but that's about it. It needs way more creative energy.
That being said the individual beats are often entertaining. The abductees face hunting dogs and new traps. Some of them have enough shady motives and histories to keep it from being a totally bland experience. There are no baffling plot developments like the ones found in part four, The Predator, which I would gladly forget. Instead it's all fairly basic with some good effects using what seems to be a limited budget. With more money perhaps it could have leaned into something more crazy and showed a truly alien planet along with more interesting inhabitants. But we'll have to be content with a half-crazed scavenger and an occasional glimpse of other local fauna. It's not great, but it's just interesting enough to get by.
3/5
