MILLIONAIRE'S EXPRESS (1986)
Time for a movie about East meeting West, but not in the usual sense. Instead of a culture clash story this is essentially two ideas; a steam train heist meets a Heroes of the East style action flick. Which means there are in fact plenty of clashes involved. There are Japanese warriors, Russian soldiers, American bandits and lot of familiar Hong Kong faces living on a desert frontier. Making this all a lot less straightforward. Why have some characters migrated from the American West to Asia while others are living in a town that has been transplanted from that setting? Who can say. It's a film which tries its hand at a lot of things in terms of ideas and tonal shifts. Should it have stuck to just two genre ingredients or does all of this all form a coherent adventure?
The time and place in which this all happens is an odd mixture to say the least. Perhaps it's best to consider all of this a fantasy feature rather than any kind of historical drama. Things like the eponymous train, various hats and costumes, along with a Gatling Gun sequence, plant it firmly in the late Nineteenth Century. Meanwhile other costumes and even the upholstery inside the train just scream 1986. It's best not to think too hard about this as the leading man Ching (Sammo Hung) travels from Russia to somewhere in China without a horse after escaping bounty hunter Fook (Kenny Bee). It's a strange slapstick opening that signals everything to come; a lot of weird action antics. But there's hardly a dull moment even if a lot comedy beats are hit and miss.
Meanwhile there's a bank robbery in Ching's home town where fireman Tsao (Yuen Biao) finds himself being promoted to head of security. It turns out that the current security guards (Lam Ching-Ying, Wu Ma and several other regulars) are tired of working and would rather steal from their neighbours. Of course this doesn't go to plan and there are some spectacular fire rescue scenes, including a fall stunt which becomes a recurring gag later. Taking a two-story dive just for a few laughs seems outrageous but that's the kind of performance that makes these Golden Harvest features unique. Pain is temporary and film lasts forever I guess. You'd think that Ching's return to start a house of ill-repute or the escape of the criminals would the be narrative drive. But the train has yet to be featured.
In yet another storyline there are two main threads. First, the bank robbers want to escape the town by getting on the train. Second, Ching wants to derail the train to divert wealthy customers into town. Last, and by no means least, a gang of cut-throats want to steal an ancient map from the train. This 'location of the Terracotta Army' is currently in the hands of a Samurai trio, leading to another discussion of national treasures being exported. Although this self-serious elements is undercut at the last minute to shake things up. To be frank there is too much going on, particularly as several other passengers have sub-plots of their own. However as the tone fluctuates between comedy, the desperation of the locals, and the shadow of Ching's past, things do start to coalesce.
In terms of comedy it's wildly inconsistent. The story features what might be the zenith of the old 'let's hide in someone's bedroom' scene, as eccentric traveller Han (a deer stalker wearing Richard Ng) finds his plans to have an affair foiled by the bandits. This kind of sequence probably features in half of the studios releases. Elsewhere there are zany music cues and sped up footage as the fugitive robbers try various plans to get on board the express. There are a lot of odd scenes and wacky jokes, some involving a pint-sized Wong Fei-Hung and his father, others involving a drooling train conductor and his mistress. A set-up for a real police investigation is ejected quite literally when the inspector is booted from the moving locomotive. It's all very broad but it's never too over bearing.
The action on the other hand is a top class affair when the likes of Dick Wei, Cynthia Rothrock, Richard Norton and Yukari Oshima arrive. The slapstick ensemble is pretty big, but the action star line up is just as expansive. An early brawl between Ching and Tsao has a lot of good moments involving a railway station. The high rise stunts during and after the fire are incredible. However it's all leading up to a series of set pieces involving all groups of friends and enemies wreaking havoc in the town hotel. There's no specific villain to be faced but instead it's a series of varied duels, some more serious than others. There are big guns, big swords, and big falls. Some of the individual moments could be longer but there's a lot to enjoy.
It's a strangely compelling hybrid in more ways than one as the outlaw clichés meet the kung-fu forms. There's an oddly messy story structure clashing with all the super precise kicks. It has too many characters but manages to occasionally focus on a little romance subplot and a story about past mistakes. Even if it's far too brief. The results might not be as well known as the films that feature just one or two of these action heroes, but this is a uniquely overblown affair full of memorable moments. Despite a lot of strange narrative dead ends (and more than one cut featuring alternative scenes) it never pulls its punches and offers a entertaining ride that shouldn't be missed.
4/5
BONUS REVIEW
HEART OF THE DRAGON (1985)
Elsewhere Jackie Chan teams up with Sammo for this tale of stolen jewellery and fraternal discord. Like Millionaire's Express it's a case of two ideas being brought together. One is the typical police thriller Jackie is known for, the other is a tale of a man trying to abandon a brother who has learning difficulties. Like Crime Story it's an attempt to move away from the usual formula and give the leads a more serious story to push their acting skills. But like that release there's something that doesn't entirely work, and it's not just because the central duo are not playing up their usual personas. They're both trying their hardest but there's a lack of depth that is hard to ignore. The results are part soap opera and part action spectacle but they often feel like totally separate entities.
Tat (Jackie Chan) is part of a CID team. He wants to see the world by joining the Navy, but needs to leave behind his brother Danny (Sammo Hung) in order to do so. By any means apparently. He's not exactly a sympathetic figure as he tries to marry girlfriend Jenny (Emily Chu) just to use her as a very long term babysitter. Which is kind of what Danny needs, if not how, since he's shown to have the mental age of a small child. Danny seems surrounded by people that take advantage of him, from his friends who are actually children, to his conniving home tutor. He even goes out looking for work only to find himself being abused by a restaurant owner. There is some sense of a brotherly bond between the two leads but it's never developed far enough.
This just isn't that kind of movie and perhaps it needed a writer other than someone known for action comedies. Perhaps this really isn't the place to tell a story like this. The action, though infrequent, is at least pretty well done. A third act car chase and the subsequent parking lot finale are up to the usual standards from this era. Sammo himself doesn't break out of his condition and do any martial arts, which I have to give them credit for. It's incredibly uneven as the story moves from a CID and SWAT rivalry to scenes of children trying to get ice cream for free. The overarching plot does eventually come down to Tat having to give up his dream, and his badge, to rescue Danny, which is something. But the sad pop song ending doesn't lend this more gravitas than it already has, which isn't quite enough.
3/5
