@synth_cinema: Horror Bites - This is what you pay for...

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Horror Bites - This is what you pay for...

HARDWARE (1990)

I hate to say this but this one is kind of a disappointment after hearing so many of promising details. Sorry Mr Roboto wherever you may be today but I just don't agree with your assessment, or the views of other fans out there. It goes without saying that I'm well accustomed to cheap B-thrillers and ultra low rent science fiction fare. When done right they can be vastly better than the kinds of mass produced Hollywood popcorn fodder after all. They can have heart and charm even without finesse or production value. So I was kind of excited to see that this one after it had been given a shiny new high definition re-release. I was all set for for some low grade acting and mechanical mayhem in a story about killer robots gone awry. Or at least something like that.


It starts off pretty well though and there's some nice design work on show in the apocalyptic wasteland the film makers have devised. A little research into this and you'll find that it's apparently based on the 2000AD comics own Cursed Earth (of Judge Dredd fame) which is a neat source of inspiration. Incidentally if you have a chance to see the documentary Future Shock: The Story of 2000AD be sure to take a look as they bring this one up briefly. However I digress as this interesting outside world is left so quickly, which is a shame. Instead the film is mostly set inside a single apartment. As a result things go south as soon as the aforementioned killing machine gets activated.

The real let down is that it was all looking so good to begin with. The opening prologue has a lot of atmosphere as a junk trader collects machine pieces from a nuclear wasteland. The mood is allowed to build up as the design of the robotic antagonist is slowly revealed. There are plenty of great details to see in the dystopian setting. A larger world just beyond the frame is hinted at in some of the dialogue or on a local radio that can be heard. However as the setting is reduced to a smaller space things get less and less interesting. We're introduced to an artist in a nearby housing block who takes the junk parts to use as a sculpture. Of course it soon begins to come back to life after she's tinkered with the pieces. The stage is set for a robotic slasher romp.

But when the action starts it just kind of falls to pieces. The villain looks pretty cool but for some reason it can only see in classic 1980s body-heat vision. Like a low rent version of Predator. What this means for the story is that instead of rampaging about the housing block dicing up the residents, it just spends a lot of long stretches of time just kind of hiding... somewhere. Every so often they throw in a digitized POV shot. What's it doing exactly, does it need a rest? Are its batteries low? Elsewhere our supposed hero is the artist's boyfriend, some kind of ex-soldier. But he often just vanishes off into the building for long periods. He soon deduces the robot's purpose but seems to take a really long time to come back and warn anyone about his findings.


What's taking him so long, isn't he just downstairs? How big is this place? Does he care about the residents or not? Meanwhile the sculptor, who should be the real protagonist, is kind of a shut-in and she just sits around in the dark sweating for most of the movie. Hiding from the robot might have been suspenseful for a few sequences, but it's all so excessively slow moving and strangely ineffective in all the wrong moments. Exciting chase sequences these are not. It seems as though someone thought tension was going to be raised by long scenes of people pressing intercom buttons . These apparently never work but everyone wants to use them anyway. Meanwhile the supposed killbot behaves erratically and moves in and out of the dark.

But there are also some seriously odd choices made in the editing room to be found here. One example is cuts during the action to random people sat playing chess. Is this supposed to be symbolic or is it just purposely distracting? World building is one thing, but throwing in scenes like this so haphazardly is just mind boggling. I appreciate that the threat is a low budget model or puppet, and as a result certain creative choices have to be made. You can't show it too much after all or the bag of tricks will soon be empty. But I spent a lot of time wondering what was actually going on here, confused rather than entertained.

Considering that the 2000AD comic publishers sued the film makers for plagiarising one of their stories I would have expected something worth starting a dispute over. It's an interesting film at least, particularly when you consider that the cast includes Iggy Pop and Lemmy. William Hootkins of Star Wars and Flash Gordon fame even shows up as the slimiest next door neighbour ever. But despite the flashy visuals and so many eclectic elements it never becomes compelling. There are shades of Alien and The Terminator and there's a lot of grime and dirt. But these components are all too ramshackle and whole thing never lurches into life the way it should do. Perhaps its sensibilities are just too punk for its own good.

2/5