Okay now we're really starting to push things along at full throttle, right into the kitsch zone. If the Godzilla series hadn't already become pretty silly in the 1960s with cross-over movies and storylines about monsters from outer space, then this is where it all kind of solidifies. It's cheaper and it's gaudier and in a lot of ways this is a pretty redundant film. But it's still pretty entertaining for the most part and it has a lot of fans out there. Probably because it's full of UFOs and aliens wearing sunglasses. Or maybe it's just because it includes that part where Godzilla does a victory dance.
It's not quite on par with something like The Smog Monster, but the seeds are here for the weirdness that would start to bloom later on in the 1970s. In the far flung future of 196X... an alien civilisation is discovered on Planet ... X. I guess this wasn't too far from the '50s but it seems like the whole X-Ray title thing was still popular. I'm surprised it's not just called Monster X. But I digress, this is yet another Ishiro Honda movie about rocket ships. With the semi-serious plot of Ghidorah apparently jettisoned we meet astronauts Fuji (Akira Takarada) and Glenn (Nick Adams) as they land on a newly discovered world.
There's a lot of weird stuff going on right away as race calling themselves Xiliens coerce the two explorers into their secret base. Supposedly these people live in fear of Monster Zero, which is of course King Ghidorah. But all he can do here is fly around zapping the barren surface which doesn't seem to cause too much of a problem. Still, the aliens want to make a deal to bring both Godzilla and Rodan to their planet for a battle as they defeated the gold-plated punching bag last time around. In a definitely too-good-to-be-true deal the Xilien controller offers the people of Earth a cure for cancer in exchange for this inter-planetary creature vacation.
This isn't a film concerned with internal plot logic and it brushes over a lot of fairly large details. The aliens clearly work with Ghidorah, but how? They later control the other two creatures with another method. If they wanted to remove the other monsters from Earth why not do it anyway without this big scheme? Where is Mothra? Are the aliens linked to the ancient civilisations on Venus mentioned in the last movie? It's probably best not to worry about it, after all I already mentioned Godzilla dancing a jig. It's a story concerned unironically with comic book science fiction gadgets and hot alien babes.
Yes the human element in this film is all about that most monstrous of all plot devices - romance. On the one hand Glenn is dating highly suspicious toy company executive Namikawa (Kumi Mizuno) while on the other Fuji's sister is seeing hapless inventor Tetsuo (Akira Kubo). Tetsuo's latest creation is an ear-piercing alarm device called the Lady-Guard, which hides a siren inside a make-up compact. Namikawa tricks him into selling her company his invention despite it having no obvious application in their range of products. The secret is of course related to the wavelength of the alarm and the alien control frequencies, which is their undoing during a classic B-movie style finale.
It's a likeable movie but there are a lot of caveats along the way. Much of this science fiction plot feels like something from another script, even more than usual in this sort of thing. Perhaps it's because so much of the monster action here is the same as it was last time around, and the use of stock footage from Ghidorah the Three-Headed Monster is noticeable. There's just something ramshackle about the whole thing even when the costume designs and general space-age tone has a lot of charm. Tetsuo may be intentionally annoying but both Fuji and Glenn have their own kind of tough-guy personas which along with the sillier monster performances lends it a different appeal the previous instalments.
With more focus and less planet hopping it might feel a bit smoother, but then again it could be an entirely separate alien invasion story like Battle in Outer Space with enough alterations. Would a Godzilla film based entirely on his visit to Planet X work? Probably. How do these creatures breathe... or fly on another world? Let's not think about it too hard. This has a lot of memorable and bizarre moments that make it stand out, but overall it's got far too much shared material with the earlier films which were of a higher calibre. If a monster movie ever coasted along on a mixture of its series highs and pure 1960s aesthetic alone, this is definitely it.
3/5
BONUS REVIEW
VARAN THE GIANT MONSTER (1958)
Quickly moving to a monster movie with no personality at all, it's the hungry swamp god Varan. Not to be confused with Varan, The Unbelievable, this is the Japanese feature made a whole four years earlier. Originally planned as a television movie this is about as boiler plate as it gets for the genre with Ishiro Honda doing a very by the numbers job on yet another monster rampage. In some instances the black and white photography is quite atmospheric and does a good job at showing misty lake shores and urban destruction. But generally it just feels really grey and lifeless; watchable but weirdly perfunctory.
A pair of university researchers go on the hunt for a new species of butterfly when something big and angry causes a landslide and kills them. A local tribe of religious villagers that declare that their deity is to blame, and that no-one else should venture into area to prevent further trouble. Of course nobody listens and soon the military is dropping depth charges loaded with chemicals into the water where Varan sleeps. There's no real theme at work here and neither the idea of ancient gods or the plot about mankind versus nature is explored. Varan itself isn't really developed, and although there's a fun moment where the creature suddenly extends a pair of flying-fox style wings this power isn't given much screen time either.
There are a few good demolition scenes and some of the usual Toho actors show up, but there's nothing remarkable here. Tokyo takes yet another beating. A committee sits around discussing how to kill the monster, and then they do. Why does Varan want to eat flares? Are they related to an underwater food source? It's never explained. This isn't a terrible movie by any means but it just feels like a project that was finished up out of obligation before bigger more imaginative technicolour features got underway. For completists the original cut of the film is essential viewing of course, but for everyone else it's best not to worry about it when the suit gets a random cameo in Destroy All Monsters.
2/5
