AKA Earth Destruction Directive: Godzilla vs. Gigan. So it's been said that the movie prior to this was considered too weird and outlandish? Maybe it was all the disco dancing and animation in Godzilla vs Hedorah that made the studio suits at Toho think twice, but at least it was something different. Casual viewers could never say that it was another formulaic release at any rate, a complaint that is certainly true here. Despite a few odd moments this is about as cheap and by the numbers as it gets, with yet more aliens, and several monsters that have been on screen so often they're falling to pieces. In this case they're flogging not a dead horse, but poor old King Ghidorah.
To say this film lacks a budget might be something of an understatement, after all it's a series that is certainly no stranger to recycled footage. Not content with using costumes that look decidedly tatty and moth-eaten, the film-makers even repeat many of the new action shots created for this movie. Sometimes to the point of absurdity. Flying monsters, explosions and crash zooms stand out the most and it gives the whole affair a tiring effect that makes it a slog to get through. There are always going to be those watching who think that all these films are the same, and a lot of the time that's not really true. But in the case of this one they might have a point.
The once impressive puppet and suit-mation effects that were used to bring Ghidorah to life have lost their golden lustre, and in many shots the costume is totally battered from so many previous brawls. In flight (when it's not just stock footage from earlier films) the wings don't even move and it just looks like a sad Christmas tree decoration. On the other hand it has to be said that his new partner in crime, Gigan, is a weird and wonderful looking monster. There's a super-seventies chic to the design that seems to be part cyborg parrot and part fishing lure. His origin? Who knows. He came from outer-space I guess and that's all there is to it. If only he was given more to do.
Meanwhile Godzilla and his part time ally Anguirus are hanging out on a pretty sparse looking Monster Island, which I guess is where one of the original English language titles comes from. Again the creatures are in pretty bad shape, particularly the suits used for swimming. But hold up, wasn't this island home only a thing in the far future of 1999 from Destroy All Monsters? Then again I guess Anguirus was brutally killed by his alleged pal that one time, so it's not worth thinking too hard about. The writers obviously haven't. The plot for what it's worth involves an evil corporation using monster control signals along with various other gadget related shenanigans.
Godzilla pressures Anguirus into visiting Tokyo alone so they can find out what these signals are, for some reason. Finding there are a lot of military weapons waiting he swims back to report... nothing. Since he didn't actually do an investigation. Then the two cross back over to Japan, together this time, for some reason. Luckily for them everyone in the defence force is now busy during Gigan's attack. It's weirdly paced and lacks any kind of mystery or drama, and the monster language used (complete with comic book speech bubbles) is really out of place. Maybe if the whole film was as wacky as the previous instalment it would work, but someone thought this was the way to get things back on track.
Elsewhere of course there's a major human storyline about a struggling comic artist, his karate kicking girlfriend, and a pair of activists who think the artist's new employers are up to no good. Which of course is correct since this is another alien invasion plot. It's kind of interesting in a thriller format kind of way, and the reveal that the main bad guys have stolen the identities of dead locals is engaging. The problem is that the villains are so useless and let people in and out of their hideout on multiple occasions. The place has no security until the plot demands it. There are a few nice sets and miniatures, and the reveal of the corporation owner's true form is hilarious. But it's not enough when so much of the film lacks creativity.
At least there's enough action here. Some of this is surprisingly brutal for a film about evil aliens hiding at a children's theme park. But it's all so recycled and there's too much that doesn't make sense, even by the standards of this genre. It lacks the kind of entertaining-bad levels found in Godzilla vs Megalon, and a lot of it feels like a test run for what would be done properly in Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla. The human elements are just strange enough to keep things ticking over, but the pacing grinds to a halt when the same kaiju effects shots are repeated with such rapid-fire succession. Gigan fans will get a kick out of this whole adventure and it's notable as the last performance of original Godzilla actor Haruo Nakajima. But generally this is one of the weakest entries in the whole series.
2/5
BONUS REVIEW
ALL MONSTERS ATTACK (1969)
AKA Godzilla's Revenge... whatever that means. While we're on the subject of weak instalments, this isn't really a Godzilla movie. But it is another Toho release directed by Ishiro Honda. For those who aren't aware the original plan was for Destroy All Monster to finish off the whole series with a closing battle royale. But of course money talks and there was a call for one last movie before the end of the decade. However, instead of another monster mash someone dreamt up this weird fourth-wall breaking adventure in which Godzilla and company are fictional characters. Or at least I think that's the idea... since nobody in the film directly says he's from a film series. It's just a monster people recognise somehow.
The storyline revolves around a young boy called Ichiro. He wears one of those baseball caps right out of the Gamera series, which is a big warning sign to many fans. Bullied by other kids and left alone by parents who seem to work all hours of the day, he dreams about meeting Godzilla's weird child Minya who gives him a convenient monster stock footage tour. But this is before he gets involved with a pair of fugitives who kidnap him to avoid their hideout being discovered. It's a strange but familiar movie since like a lot of Honda's other sci-fi efforts a crime drama takes up half the running time. Most of the monster footage is just recycled, although one famous moment from Son of Godzilla is remade for reasons that are unclear.
Still, despite all of these issues it's a fairly brisk story about a kid using their imagination to overcome their fears. Minya's battle with bully Gabara (possibly the worst creature design in the franchise) mirrors the real world events... to some degree. Although it has to be said the messages are very muddled towards the end. Standing up to bullies and fending off adult gangsters isn't the same thing. It's full of strange editing tricks to show moments in Ichiro's mind, whether he's falling into island caves or being rudely woken from his dreams. There are also a lot of scenes showing industrial Japan in the late '60s that are pretty fascinating. It's definitely not good, but it's barely over an hour long and it's oddly watchable. Just avoid the English dub which makes the whole thing almost unbearable.
2/5
